Sleep No More


Captain’s Log.  Spring Break Chronicles.  Diaper Date 1663.  The Sleep Fairy hates us.  She has skipped our house for about the 4th consecutive night.  I believe that the total sleeptime in the household is less then 30 for the weekend.  Consequently, I sought the advice of the Eldest to see why she had a hard time sleeping – thinking that any insight could be transferred to the Captain and Mrs. Captain.  Here is our conversation:

Captain:  Why did you have such a hard time sleeping last night, Sweetie?

Eldest:  The sleepies were so far away.  I texted them and they told me they were going to be late with their magic? 

Seriously?  There are a few problems here – 1.  Why in the kakaboogie® (copyrighted word) are the sleepies so far away?  2.  Why are they texting my daughter?  3.  How did she get a phone and why don’t I have her number? 

This sleep thing is getting old.  The Captain feels like Macbeth – minus the whole murder thing.  And seeing the witches.  And not having children.  Or being the war hero.  Oh, and being the King of Scotland (Does Homecoming King count?).  Macbeth has a great line where he starts hallucinating after the murder of the good King Duncan, “I thought I heard a voice cry Sleep No More.  Macbeth doth murder sleep.”  For the record, the Captain did not murder sleep or anyone else (except maybe a spider).  But, someone has ruined sleep in this house.  It ain’t right…

In the meantime, we are going to fight through it and find a way to salvage and enjoy Spring Break.  I know a good playset that we can play on. 

That’s all for least until Birnam Wood moves to Fair Dunsinane.  Let me stop before the Captain meets three witches on the way back from the grocery store…

Captain Out…

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2 thoughts on “Sleep No More”

  1. I feel your pain! Our 4 year old keeps having “bad dreams”, which is just the excuse needed to crawl in bed with Mommy and Daddy at 3 am. That and “I have to go to the bathroom”. The girl knows how to work us.


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