Surviving the Polar Vortex


Captain’s Log. Snow Chronicles. Diaper Date 2312. It was the best of times…and it was the worst of times. Never in The Captain’s life had he ever endured such a trying week of winter weather.
The Polar Vortex.

It all started about a week ago. The Moc Admiral (my mom) had been in town for a visit. We were watching the weather reports closely. We wanted to make sure that we got the Moc Admiral back to Ohio safely before the weather hit.
On Saturday we journeyed to Ohio, where we met my sister who would take the M.A. all the way back to the 5 time All American City- Cleveland, Ohio.
While in Ohio, I decided to stop at the store to procure some provisions. All of our stores looked like the aftermath of a riot. They were devoid of milk, bread, and any and all cold weather accessories.
Ohio was not much different. I got window plastic, milk, and a space heater. The lines, for the first time ever, were all open. However, the line extended back beyond the jewelry counter.
I returned home and Mrs. Captain ran a few errands before the snow began. She also had a harrowing journey into the madness of humanity. She joked that we should get in the car and just drive to Nashville or Atlanta.
I laughed. We both did. Nervously.
We had been given these bold predictions before only to get a dusting, but this time the precipitation prognostications were precise.
Beginning at midnight, the heavens opened and the snow fell. And fell. And fell. Roughly an inch an hour until we had between 8 and 10 inches.
Sunday, we played in the bountiful snow. We threw snowballs, built snowmen, made snow angels, and even went down the slide and on the swing. We had a ball.
And then the temperature dropped.
A transformer blew close to my in-laws and suddenly they didn’t have power, so we brought them (and their dog) over to the house. While I was gone, apparently a deal was struck that The Eldest could have a sleepover.
It was a fun time- 4 extra people and hot soup made it fun.
I think we need a bigger boat.
And then our power went off. Mrs. Captain and I enacted Marshall Law and sent everyone to bed in the dark. If the power stayed off, then we would have to seek shelter at a hotel. It was 9:20 pm and Mrs. Captain had just started watching Downton Abbey. The much anticipated first show of the new season. At 9:30 we were in bed.
Countless friends offered shelter and rides. Fortunately, our power came back on at 3:30.
The temperature outside dropped to -45. Schools closed. The city shut down. We were captives in our home.
We played games, watched movies, threw hot water out the window- you know normal stuff.
And waited.
We were the lucky ones. Many people, like my in-laws, didn’t have power or hear until Wednesday or Thursday. We just had cabin fever from being stuck inside- which we alleviated yesterday with a trip to Chuck E Cheese (where The Diaper Dweller and I set the High Score on the NFL 2 Minute Drill).

We are now on Day 5 on school closings. An entire week off. It’s been crazy. It’s been fun. But now we will be able to tell our grandchildren that we were in the Polar Vortex of 2014 and lived to tell the tale.
In the meantime, we have more fun to have on our last day off. We hope you and yours are safe and warm. For now, Captain out….



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