The Poop Post

I have been a dad for the better part of a decade. Wow. Seems like a long time when I say it that way. Anyways…

I have been a dad for the better part of a decade, and one of the most important lessons that I have learned as a father is that you have to find humor in the crappiest most dire situations. It’s true, laugh or life may defecate rain upon you.

And think about all those funny stories you tell early on, and what do they swirl around on? Poop.

That’s right. Poop is funny. Poop makes people laugh. Poop makes people snort. (Some of you may be snorting right now because I said “Poop”. Well I didn’t actually SAY it. I wrote it, but feel free to imagine that I just said it out loud as I typed “Poop”.)

But why?

Everybody poops (I know that because there is a CHILDREN’S book about it). And poop, or the thought of it, makes most people uncomfortable.

So why is it funny?

Is it simply a way to flush our proverbial nerves down the drain? I mean, it would be one thing if when we parents told stories from the sewers trenches people were grossed out, threw their hands up, and walked away.

But that’s not what usually happens, is it? Go ahead, tell a poop story. The listener may scrunch up his nose, feign indignation, but next he will likely laugh, or shake his shoulders, and then fire back with a children’s poop story of his own – because we ALL have them.

It’s like a requirement of parenthood that, at some point, you will be pooped on directly or indirectly. And when that happens, you should definitely shout “You sank my battleship” or something witty like that.

Actually, when that happens, and you have to change yourself and your baby before work (for the second time), you have to rip your sleeves off your shirt before arriving at a lunch party (welcome to the gun show), or you have to rinse an article of clothing in a seedy bathroom of a very questionable gas station in a remote part of town, that may or may not remind you of the beginning of multiple horror movies, and then hang said article of clothing from the window of your vehicle so that it will dry out and lose the stink (all of these are true stories by the way- hate to air out dirty laundry, but sometimes you HAVE to) after all that happens – yes you may crack, you may cry, you may throw punches at the clouds, but eventually you will laugh.

You have to laugh. No one knows why poop is funny, but if you don’t laugh the diarrhea wins.

So new parents remember this: You’ve heard the saying, Whem life gives you lemons make lemonade. Well, we are going to change that a bit. When life gives you poop make lemonade…www grossfind a way to laugh. Let it out – the laughter that is.

And hopefully you laugh hard, but not so hard you….well you get the idea.

That’s all for now…Captain (ha ha Poop Deck – he said Poop again!) out!