The Alleged Father

Captain’s Log. Diaper Date 1827. Exactly five years. Daddy Chronicles. The Captain is now the proud daddy of a five year-old. Five. It is funny, but The Captain remembers it like it was yesterday….(cue hazy time machine music).
Mrs. Captain woke me at about one in the morning with, “I think my water broke.”
Think? Wouldn’t she know?
“Huh? Really? Wow.”
The Captain sprung to his feet…only to wait. He emailed sub plans and a few parents of students. And then waited some more.
Mrs. Captain told him to get some sleep. He couldn’t. Eventually the sun rose.
The Captain ran through his progressions like Manning reading a defense at the line of scrimmage. Doctor. Check. Family. Check. Bags. Check. Yoga Ball. Check.
The Captain’s sister-in-law and mother-in-law soon arrived. The baby birthing team was assembled. And the rest, as they say, is history.
There are several things that still stick out today. The Captain remembers his only goal (besides being the best birthing assistant possible) was not to pass out. This became his goal after the nurse regaled him with tales of all the fathers who didn’t make it through labor (one required a 911 call). This was not going to happen to the Captain.
The next thing, kind of funny, was that immediately after the birth of The Eldest, The Captain walked to the waiting room and delivered the news to the family there. It was like the “olden days”. One of my proudest moments was being able to walk into the room and announce “It’s a girl!”…which The Captain did teary eyed. I also had to make the phone calls to my family, since they weren’t in town. Here is where the funny part comes in. I refused to hold the baby before my wife did. I figured she did all the work (and it was a lot of work) so she should have that honor. I didn’t realize how long I had been gone, but I figured I would be the second to hold the child. When we got home and looked at the pictures, there must have been 50 people that held the girl before I did. I swear there were some I didn’t even know.
One of the other things that sticks out is that when I checked us in, I was referred to as “The Alleged Father” by the receptionist. Now, I was too tired, wired, and excited for that to sink in at the time, but five years later it still riles up The Captain.
That one simple comment has been a reminder, a challenge of sorts, for me. I don’t want there to ever be doubt that my kids have an involved father. I don’t want to be alleged. I won’t be alleged. The Captain has been blessed with a great family – both by birth and marriage. As my voyage into fatherhood set sail, it was, and still is, my goal that my children feel the same way.
In five years I have been tested in ways I couldn’t imagined. We have laughed, cried, bandaged, repaired, danced, feasted, had makeovers, partied, slumbered, and much more. I was always scared of having a daughter (and still am…I do teach middle school). But I think I can safely say that she has made me a better man.
These five years have been awesome and have gone waaaay too fast. I look forward to what the future holds.
So Happy Labor Day to my amazing wife, Mrs. Captain. Our children could not have a better mother. And a Happy Happy Birthday to my little girl. Daddy loves you.
And now…we gonna party.
Captain Out
P.S. A Special Thanks to the Birthing Avenger Squad – Betty Crocker (my mother in law) and my Super Sister-in-law. And a Happy Birthday to my Sister-in-law who spent her birthday, five years ago helping us bring a precious little girl in the world. Love you both!

8 thoughts on “The Alleged Father”

  1. I was in a study for first time mom’s while pregnant with Michael. They constantly asked me how confident I was on the identity of the father. They seemed surprised every time, I answered positive. It was questions like that, the list of words they made me read out loud, and the fact I have a Masters degree that made me think that perhaps I was breaking the curve for their study in a good way I hope.


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