5 Alarms. 1 Answer: #PinkRelief

In perhaps the most appropriate sponsored post for “Tales from the Poop Deck”, I have been compensated for this post and sent product from…Pepto-Bismol. My words and thoughts are my own. 

Bathroom breaks. Perhaps the single most detrimental downfall to a career in education. I’m like a Pavlovian bathroom user. When I hear I bell, I know I have 5 minutes to visit the restroom before the next anxious group of learners enters my room. 

5 minutes. And consider that during that time I am often bombarded with questions, short anecdotes about Star Wars (my kids know me), requests for passes, books, homework, etc. So really less than 5 minutes. 

5 minutes. So you know what I don’t have time for? Heartburn, indigestion, nausea, upset stomach, or diarrhea. 

And do you know what often happens to a school workroom right before the holidays? It is turned into a proverbial cookie and snack shop. You pick up a copy, you get a cookie. You check your mailbox? You get a cookie. You go to get coffee? You get two cookies. I mean it is as if there’s a host sitting in the workroom, the cookies are all of her favorite things, and she sits there tossing you cookies and screams “EVERYONE GETS A COOKIE!” 

Eventually, you eat one cookie, or treat, too many. No one else notices, but the mechanics inside of your body are sounding the alarms. There may be a soft gurgle or groan. The sound of gears reversing engines – or steam being released from a valve. There are five different alarms, and, sometimes, they can all go off at once: Heartburn, indigestion, nausea, upset stomach, or diarrhea.

5 minutes. What is a teacher to do? 

And that is why I keep relief in my drawers. (My desk drawers.) 


Pepto-Bismol is the ultimate teacher’s assistant for those tough spots when one, or all five, alarm bell(s) sound. It is not often that the overindulgence of food and drink occurs (the holiday season being one specific example), but when it does, the #PinkRelief has you covered. 

Need something to quell the fires of indigestion after annihilating a bevy of cookies? A dose of Pepto-Bismol coats and calms the stomach like a cool pink blanket. Putting the idea of multiple trips to the bathroom to rest and offering you some comfort in the meantime. And for the record, this does not give you license to go and annihilate another large plate of cookies. 

Truth be told, Christmas comes early each August. The first gift I give myself at the beginning of th school year? A bottle of Pepto-Bismol. A teacher’s assistant and insurance policy rolled into one. Give yourself the same gift and tranquilize that raging stomach full of holiday food and beverage. 

Pepto-Bismol: Poop DeckĀ® tested and Poop DeckĀ® Approved. 

That’s it for now. Captain out…

It’s hard to follow other acts. Check out these fellow dad bloggers who also experienced the #PinkRelief – Out with the Kids, Dadcation, and 8 Bit Dad. 

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.