The Evil Squirrel

Siblings are funny, There are times that they are like bitter rivals, and, at others, they are staunch allies. Such was the case when the evil squirrel decided to descend upon my home.

I did not witness the initiating event. I was safe inside, however, my son was happy to brief me on the new threat in the front yard.

It all began with my children recycling boxes into squirrel habitats that they painted, crafted, and even replete with a stockpile of acorns that they had accumulated from the yard. We set the habitats out and waited to see if they were used.

One day, after school, the children ran out to the front yard to check out their squirrel domiciles while I lugged all of the backpacks and stuff into the house. Suddenly I heard screaming followed by two pairs feet burning up the sidewalk.

The door flung open, a tiny fist mashed the air and was followed by a shrill voice,  “Daddy! That squirrel threw an acorn AT MY SISTER! That EVIL squirrel! I’m going to get him! I’m going to get that EVIL. SQUIRREL!”

Now, the irony of this is that moments before, I think my son would have been willing to hurl acorns at his sister; so I am I not certain if the rub was that this vile animal had threatened his sister, or if he hadn’t had the opportunity to assail her personage with projectiles first.

Moments later, the boy began arming himself with pockets full of acorns – I mean there were acorns everywhere – there still are acorns everywhere. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply responded, “NOBODY messes with my sister. Nobody. I’m gonna take these acorns and get that EVIL SQUIRREL!”

From that point, no acorn was safe. I found them in pockets. I found them in cars. I found them in the washer, dryer, floor, backpack, and even the bed.

I, of course, thought that my children were overstating the conflict with this furry tree inhabitant. And then one day, I was walking the dog in the yard and I saw this:


Turns out. The kids were right. The squirrel is stalking us. Now if you will excuse me, I will be joining my son in stockpiling acorns to reinforce our homestead.


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.