Captain Gray Beard

Captain’s Log.  Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 1642.  The Captain isn’t getting any younger.  It is funny, but the Captain remembers being youthful and all of his coworkers remarking how he was one of the youngest members on staff.  Then a few things happened.  One year, a coworker called him “Sir”.  Not a sir out of just being respectful (though this young man was being just that), but a “Sir, do you need me read your latest issue of AARP to you since you forgot your reading glasses?” (Editor’s note – The Captain actually does receive the AARP magazine and own reading glasses.  He shares the same name as his father and thinks there was a mix-up…anyways.  No disrespect to the AARP.) Later, he had a former student graduate from college.  And even later, he had a coworker who was old young enough to have been in his class his first year teaching.

The Captain graduated the same year as Peyton Manning.  Manning was a first round draft pick and has become a legend in the NFL surpassing expectations.  The Captain?  He was accepted by a historically all women’s college to pursue his M.A. in Education.  He is not a legend – except in his own mind.  Okay not even there.  Why is this important?  Manning was just released by the Colts.  Many in the media are describing him as “old”, or only having “a few good years left”.  The Captain takes offense to this. In honor of all of the “old” middle aged people, the Captain hopes Manning comes back and wins a 5th MVP.  In fact, he should dedicate his season to us.

In addition to all of these life changing events, the Captain is growing gray hair.  Not just a little.  A good deal of gray hair.  The Captain hasn’t dyed his hair.  Some guys can pull that off.  Not the Captain.  However, the Captain noticed something last year that made him feel better.

The most electrifying man in sports entertainment, The Rock, has gray hair.

If you smelllllllll what the Captain is cooking. Photo Credit:

The Captain is officially in good company.  This may open a second career to the Captain.  In addition to his prowess as a wrestler, the Rock is also a well established action movie star.  And now the Captain can be his stunt double.  Although the Captain is not 6’3”, nor can he do the whole eyebrow thing.  But there are plenty of effects you can do with a camera.  This is the silver lining to the gray hair.

With the Eldest being 4 and the Diaper Dweller approaching 1, the Captain’s hair has plenty of time to completely turn.  However, he is a card carrying member of the voluntary bald brotherhood.  Eventually, he will be known as Captain Gray Beard, but not yet.

The Captain may never meet the Rock (Editor’s note:  If anyone can get me in touch with him, my calendar is wide open for Wrestlemania tickets, or I would simply love a “Team Bring It Shirt” size XXL), or Peyton Manning (same deal).  Though he would love to pick the minds of these two great icons, meeting them isn’t necessary – the inspiration is clear.  Here are two men (and there are more men and women that I haven’t mentioned) who are undaunted by time, by age, by public opinion.

There is something to learn from this (aside from the Rock’s ability to speak in the third person which the Captain appreciates).  A lesson to pass on to our kids.  There are real limitations and there are perceived ones.  Which ones do we let define us?  The Rock’s WWE tshirt slogan is “Team Bring It”.  It is a challenge dare to bring your best each day.  Gray hair or not.

The Captain realizes that wrestling is not “real”, but the work that goes into it is.  The Captain also realizes that football is “just a game”.  Again, there is real work and tremendous competition involved.  Sometimes entertainment has a way of doing more than entertaining us.  Consider that we don’t wrestle a single match, or take a single snap.  Sometimes it challenges us to redefine ourselves. The Captain has decided not to let his graying beard define him.

What do you think?  It doesn’t matter what you think!  (This is a frequent Rock promo.  I am not shunning the opinions of the Poop Deck Community.)

Captain Gray Beard out.

Contact The Captain…

[email protected]

Twitter @acjlist

3 thoughts on “Captain Gray Beard”

  1. This has nothing to do with your age or fatherhood but damn I would nom nom nom on the Rock and his gray e’erythang. Lord, his looks aren’t even right!


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