Captain’s Log 2645: Toys Break

Captain’s Log. Diaper Date 2645. Daddy Chronicles. Toys Break.

I don’t remember my toys breaking this often when I was a kid. Aside from the dog’s name, “Uh Oh” might be the most repeated phrase that I hear in my house.

And it seems to always come from my son.

Don’t get me wrong, my daughter breaks her fair share of things, too, but they are usually fixable, or something handmade that can be reproduced.

My son, on the other hand, has clearly inherited my gene. The gene of destruction. When I was a kid, my family gave me a nickname-


Apparently, my son is Destructo Jr. His strength has found no plastic equal. His grip cannot be tamed by mere glue. His stomping can permeate the fortress of any structure.

And this is why toys break. Frequently.

For example, pictures is Hiccup 2.


Hiccup 2 was purchased as a backup to Hiccup 1, who was lost, unbeknownst to anyone else, in the abyss of the recliner. During a search and rescue mission for the head of Spiderman in said recliner, Hiccup 1 was rediscovered.

We then had two functional Hiccups. Until Destructo Jr. broke Hiccup 1’s leg. So I glued it.

The same day he broke the leg of Hiccup 2. Same leg. A day later he broke the other leg.

Suffice to say, Hiccup has kept the super glue flowing. And it makes me wonder- did I really break toys at such a rapid rate?

I don’t know the answer to that question, but what I do know is that part of parenting classes should be basic toy repair shop. It’s not easy repairing limbs. Glue it in the wrong spot and you have little to no articulation.

Ah well. In the meantime, we will keep fixing toys, but I think pretty soon, I am going to start graphing the rate of breakage.

I need to know so I can take it out of his allowance later.

That’s all for now…Captain out!

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